A shaky poop story

Our three-year-old daughter, Ellie, still chooses to poop in a diaper. Since she otherwise wears regular underwear the rest of the day, her poops have become something of an event. When she has to go, she asks for a diaper, then squats in the bathroom to do her business. When she's finished, or at least has something to "report," she comes back out and tells us.

Today she marched out of the bathroom and announced, "Mommy, I pooped. It's a shaky poop."

With utter lack of foresight, I stammered, "Um, what kind of poop is it?"

Ellie explained, "Mommy, it's shaky. Look, when I run, my poop shakes all around in my diaper." She then provided me with a full demonstration. My husband's comment? "Well, you wanted to know."

"Candy is not good for me!"

Jason was trying to explain the concept of Halloween to three-year-old Ellie this morning.

He told her that on Halloween, she would dress up and go door-to-door, asking people for candy. Ellie gave him a withering look and said, "But Daddy, candy is not good for me!"

Jason was taken aback by this, and tried to say that a little candy is okay on special occasions, but she wasn't buying it. "No, Daddy, candy is bad for my teeth!" To which Daddy replied that this is why we brush our teeth after having candy. She still wasn't convinced, and she remained very concerned about candy being bad for teeth. Later, we were reading a library book that ends with a mother giving her son "lots of candy kisses," and Ellie anxiously added, "But his mommy gave him a toothbrush and some toothpaste, too!"