"I'm so lucky!"

It's been checkup month for the whole family. Last Thursday was Ellie's turn for a regular checkup with her pediatrician. He doesn't usually keep us waiting long, but you never know with doctor's offices, so I brought along the iPad. This is precious time for my daughter, because she doesn't get much iPad on the days when I'm off work. We arrived just a few minutes early, finished all the preliminary testing, and were sitting ready in the exam room right at 9:30 am, which was our scheduled appointment time. Ellie happily dug out the iPad and started playing a newly downloaded app. I got out my Kindle and started reading.

A little while later, she looked up and asked me, "What time is it, Mommy?" I told her it was 9:47 am. Ellie gave me a big grin and said, "I'm so lucky! I've gotten to play this app about fifteen times!"

It's not the reaction I'd normally expect from a kid who's waiting for a doctor's appointment, but it works for me!

"Hey, I *don't* have a magic nose!"

My daughter Ellie is eight years old now. Because she has my awful eyesight, she's been seeing a children's eye specialist since she was three. Her eye doctor has a great routine for turning on the TV monitor that's on the other side of the room. She asks my kid, "Hey, do you have a magic nose?" Then she presses my daughter's nose and turns on the TV with a foot pedal at the same time. My daughter has been in awe of this trick for years. I think she's really disappointed that her magic nose doesn't work on our TV at home.

Well, Ellie just had her annual eye appointment. At the end of her visit, her doctor and I chatted for a few minutes while my daughter sat in the big exam chair. As the adults' conversation dragged on for a bit, she got bored, turned sideways in the chair, and found the control pedals that move the chair up and down. She maneuvered the chair all the way down, then found one more pedal. She stepped on it and . . . the TV monitor switched on. A sudden look of enlightenment flashed across her face, followed by indignation. "Hey!" she said. "I *don't* have a magic nose!"

Uh-oh.

We watched the third Harry Potter movie (Prisoner of Azkaban) with Ellie today. As Harry watched his friends leave school for Hogsmeade, she asked, "Why isn't Harry going with them?" We explained that he couldn't go because his uncle didn't sign his permission slip.

Her follow-up question: "Why didn't Harry just sign it himself?"

Annual blog post

I see that another eleven and a half months have gone by since I made a blog post. Frankly, the only reason I've got time to post today is because I'm sick and took the day off from work! However, this year it's not the kid's fault that I'm so busy. Things really have gotten easier now that Elena is almost six years old: no diapers, no sippy cups, no special food, no special gear for going out. She is much more self-sufficient in general.

However, with the self-sufficiency, and with all the new knowledge garnered from school, she's much more prone to attitude and talking back. (Yes, she's a girl, and I knew this was part of the package.) This has led to some less-than-stellar parenting moments on my part. Earlier this week, she was stalling and defying me at bedtime. I got so fed up that I finally said, "You'd better get in timeout, or I'm going to kill you!" Normally, I'm good about only threatening things that I'm going to follow through on, and my daughter knows this. As I was stomping off down the hall, I heard her little voice piping up from timeout corner: "Mommy? Are you really going to kill me?"

A return to blogging

I guess that nine-month hiatuses from blogging are what happens when you're a parent. My only excuse is that I was busy parenting instead of writing about parenting. It's not much of an excuse, I know, but it's the only one I've got.

Ellie, who now seems to be calling herself by her full name of Elena more often, is nearly five years old. She's warming up for her pre-teen years by breaking out the toss of the head, roll of the eyes, and exasperated sigh whenever her parents say something that she considers stupid. (That's almost everything we say these days, by the way.) She still has the attention span of a four-year-old, however. Last week, my husband Jason was trying to talk seriously to Ellie about her misbehaving at school, and the following discussion ensued:

Jason: "You know that when you're mean or you tell lies, that makes Daddy very sad."
Ellie: "Sad and disappointed."
Jason: "Um, yes, but mostly sad."
Ellie: "Sad. Mad. Those words rhyme. Yay!"

At that point, Jason elected to get up and just walk away from the whole discussion.

Juicy paper cut

This evening, when I arrived home from work, Ellie greeted me by saying, "Daddy gave me a paper cut!"

Unfortunately, I didn't have a snappy comeback ready for her, so I could only reply, "Oh?" She went on to tell me that the paper cut had been juicy and delicious. At this, I gave Jason a look and asked him if we were raising a vampire now.

He rolled his eyes and said, "Apricot! Not paper cut! I gave her an apricot!"

Of goats and udders

Ellie and I spent today at a local farm that's set up as an amusement park for kids. She got to ride on a pony ("Cookie"), and that was such a big hit with her that we did it again only ten minutes later. The petting zoo was an even bigger hit. It was full of goats, and there were several young kid goats. One little black and white baby came right up to Ellie and wanted to snuggle with her, possibly because she was the only child in the petting zoo who wasn't trying to pick it up by the neck. She absolutely fell in love with it, and hugged and kissed it, while Mommy tried hard not to think about goat germs! She then proceeded to crack up all the staff of the petting zoo when she saw the back end of a nursing nanny goat with its udders hanging down, and announced loudly, "Mommy, that goat has a funny-looking bottom!"

Blue skies

We've had a week of cool, cloudy, blustery days but woke up this morning to sunshine and blue skies. I didn't realize how gloomy the weather had been, but when I first took Ellie outside, she started dancing around with excitement, saying, "Blue sky! Blue sky! So much beautiful blue sky!" I guess it's been a while since she's seen it, huh?

Ellie is so much more independent now that she's nearly four years old, and taking her out places can really be fun. Since the weather was nice today, I ventured to take her to the local arts and wine festival. No, not to sample the wine! This festival is an annual event, and always includes a carnival midway with rides and games. Ellie had a wonderful time, going on a handful of rides over and over again. She even went "fishing" for rubber ducks and won herself an inflatable pink baseball bat! After she'd had her fill of rides, we walked around and looked at all the booths, and ended up buying a small elephant carved out of cherry wood. We were having so much fun that we decided to stay at the festival for lunch, and had roasted sweet corn on the cob and fried zucchini and chicken kabobs. We're lucky that Ellie is a good eater, but even so, I decided against the fried calamari.

Of course, there are still some things that she doesn't do independently, which can lead to some interesting moments if both Jason and I are on call. On Saturday, I was at work, so Jason was home alone with Ellie but also taking calls for his own work. At one point, he was involved with a call, when of course nature called for his daughter. Luckily, Ellie can do everything in the bathroom by herself except wiping after a poop. This resulted in Jason saying, "Excuse me for a moment, I just have to help my daughter wipe her butt."

Subpar student

We certainly are getting our money's worth from Ellie's preschool. Tonight she decided to play "school" with me, and since I'm fighting a wicked case of laryngitis and can't speak above a whisper, I got to be the student while she played the teacher. "Teacher Ellie" asked me for the first letter of the word "accessories" and explained to me that those were things that you can wear, like hats and necklaces and socks. She asked me the first letters of several other words, and finally said, "What's the first letter of the word 'xenophile'?" Being only human, I stammered and said, "What?" She repeated herself, and I shook my head and said, "Well, it's either an 'x' or a 'z' - I really don't know." She gave me a look and said, "It starts with an 'x', Mommy." I had to look it up afterward, and darned if she isn't right - it does start with 'x'! I don't know if she knows what it means, because she got tired of playing school at that point. I'm afraid she felt she was dealing with a subpar student!

No-brainer

A couple of nights ago, Ellie was combing her hair. To be more precise, she was combing her bangs. After she'd finished her own, she moved on to her daddy's hair. He doesn't normally have bangs, but his hair is short, so she enjoyed combing it down onto his forehead. Once she decided that she'd made him look silly enough, she turned to me. The trouble is that my hair is long and curly, not to mention tied back in a pony tail, so she was at a loss. She tried a few different approaches, but kept getting her comb tangled in my hair. Finally she said, "Mommy, you have no brains!"

Once Jason had stopped laughing long enough to catch his breath, he suggested that maybe she meant "bangs" and not "brains." I sure hope so!

A dose of attitude

Both Jason and I have been treated to a dose of almost-four-year-old attitude this week. On Monday, Ellie was chatting away as I was getting her ready for school. I was responding with a lot of "mmm-hmmms", so finally Ellie said in a stern voice, "Mommy, if your mouth is not full, you should not say 'mmm-hmmm.' You should say 'yes'!" I turned to her and said that she shouldn't be quite so bossy with Mommy. Her answer was, "I'm not being bossy. I'm just telling you!"

On Tuesday afternoon, she asked her daddy for a drink of water. He handed her some water in a regular cup, and she asked for a straw cup instead. Jason explained that all of our lidded cups with built-in straws were dirty, since he hadn't done the dishes yet. She said, "Well, you're just going to have to wash one."

When I got home that evening, I found Jason and Ellie watching videos of Ellie's first year with us. Jason explained that he'd brought those out to remind himself of the time when Ellie was sweet and, above all, quiet!

Ellie's second trip to Disneyland

We took three-year-old Ellie to Disneyland this week. What a difference a year makes! After another full year of preschool, Ellie now has complete "character recognition" and can name every character in the Disney pantheon. This really adds to the thrill, since she spent three days walking around Disneyland saying things like, "Look, there's Mickey! Hey, that's Princess Jasmine! Oh, let's go meet Goofy!" Last year, all of those were just big scary nameless things. It was a lot more fun for Mommy and Daddy, too, since Ellie's language skills are now good enough for her to express a whole range of emotions and opinions. When we first arrived at the main gates of Disneyland, she said, "I'm so excited that I can't believe it!" And most of all, it's wonderful to travel with NO DIAPERS.

Ellie's reaction to rides was much more unpredictable this year. For instance, she spent the entire Peter Pan ride with her head down and her eyes covered in fear. Jason then suggested going on Star Tours. When I hesitated, he said, "Oh, come on. If Ellie starts screaming, she won't be the only one." As it turns out, she loved that ride, and she loved "Pirates of the Caribbean" and the jungle cruise. Of all things, she was scared on the merry-go-round, and we ended up riding on a stationary bench just to keep her calm. Happily, Dumbo was still a strong favorite.

We were able to have some nice meals this time, unlike last year, when we were limited to hamburgers and chicken nuggets grabbed at random points around the park. We made reservations in advance for the Blue Bayou and Cafe Orleans restaurants, and Ellie loved the "cheesy macaroni" and fruit plates while Jason and I got to sample seafood herb crepes and chicken gumbo and jambalaya. Ellie is much better at walking and waiting this year, too, so we were able to explore the Downtown Disney area with all of its restaurants. Through meals at ESPN Zone and Rainforest Cafe, we learned that Ellie loves cheeseburgers, fried shrimp, and corn!

A side trip to Knott's Berry Farm was a big hit. They have an area dedicated to children under 12, with Peanuts character themes. Last year, Ellie wouldn't even have known who Snoopy was, but this might have been the high point of this year's trip. She identified every Peanuts character and was thrilled to meet Snoopy "in person". Unlike Disneyland, there were no long lines, so at the end of several rides, Ellie would say, "That was fun! Let's do it again!" We had such a wonderful day that, once we got home, Ellie's first question was, "Can we go back to Knott's Berry Farm soon?"

We took Ellie back to school on the day after we returned. On our way to class, she was very excited and said she couldn't wait to tell her teachers all about the trip. I asked her if she would tell her friends about Disneyland, too, and she gave me an amazingly grown-up response: "Mommy, my friends don't want to hear about my vacation!"

A new kind of flower

Ellie and I went out for a walk today, and as we passed the park, we stopped to watch some children flying kites. The spring wildflowers are starting to bloom, and dandelions are scattered throughout the grass. Ellie took my hand, pulled me into the field, and said, "Look, Mommy! Flower lions!"

How old is Daddy?

Tonight Jason and Ellie had a conversation about age. He explained to her that she is three and a half years old, and that means she was born three and a half years ago. Then he said, "I'm thirty-five and a half years old, so how long ago was I born?"

Without a moment's hesitation, Ellie replied, "You were born on the day that you and Mommy got married!"

Little Doctor Ellie

One of the many unexpected side effects of parenting is constant illness. I knew that kids who go to preschool get sick all the time; I just didn't realize that I would be sick all the time, too. Because I'm a pediatrician, I had hoped that my occupationally-acquired immunity would protect me. Not so!

Today, I called in sick for the first time in nearly twelve years of practice. Among other things, I had completely lost my voice, and was walking around the house croaking inaudibly. Ellie got very impatient because she couldn't hear a word I was saying, so she finally went to her father and complained, "Mommy's mumbling!" He explained that I was mumbling because I was sick, and suggested that she might want to be nice to me since I wasn't feeling well. Her response was to tell me, "Mommy, you should take some Advil and try to feel better."

Yes, ma'am!

A spoonful of sugar

We've recently acquired a huge library of Disney music, so Ellie has been discovering songs from the old Disney classics like "Mary Poppins" and "Lady and the Tramp." This morning, we were having fun singing "A Spoonful of Sugar" because Ellie loves the line "Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down." After singing the chorus about a dozen times, she told me, "But that's silly! I drink water to help the medicine go down." She's quite right; that's what she does. So now she walks around singing, "Just a cupful of water helps the medicine go down . . . "

She's been trying the "sweet" approach with us lately. Last weekend I wanted to run errands on my own for a change while Ellie stayed at home with her father. As I was leaving, Ellie said, "I want to go out with you." I told her that I enjoy going places with her, but I like to go out by myself sometimes. She responded, "But I love you."

Ellie has also tried the indirect approach. "Sometimes little kids sleep in their mommy and daddy's bed." Nice try, kiddo, but neither of your parents is going to fall for that one! Her father's succinct response was, "Well, some kids do, but you don't."

'Twas the night before Christmas . . .

And all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
Except for my daughter.

About 3:30 in the morning - Christmas morning! - I awoke to the sound of Ellie screaming in her bed. I lay quietly for a while, listening to see if she would sort herself out or if she sounded like she was genuinely hurt or scared. After about fifteen minutes, she escalated from screaming to high-pitched shrieking, so I decided that the time had come for me to investigate. After all, what could she be shrieking about on the night before Christmas?

The moment I opened the door to her room, the screaming stopped. Wearily, I asked her, "Whatcha screaming about, kiddo?"

"Nothin'."

That was her story, and she stuck to it. Nothin'. She wasn't scared or hurt or cold or thirsty or having a nightmare. Nothin'.

Luckily for me, it was the one night of the year that I had the perfect answer to this: "If you keep screaming, you're going to scare away Santa and his eight tiny reindeer. Better lie down and get to sleep!"

Worked like a charm.

"Missing my daddy"

Ellie is just about ready to give up her afternoon nap (much to our chagrin). We still enforce "quiet time" in her room every day, but she usually spends the afternoon jumping around and singing. She's also trying out various strategies for getting us to come in and keep her company.

There's been the classic: "I'm thirsty. Can I have some water, please?"
And there's been the direct approach: "I'm not tired. I'm all done sleeping."
Then, the ever-sneaky: "I have to poop!" which doesn't work when we know she's just gone right before her "nap."

Her most recent try was "I hit my head! My head hurts!" However, when offered medicine for the aforementioned pain, she'll decline it. "No, it doesn't hurt now." She hasn't quite figured out how to stay consistent with her story, because we can still catch her out. I can ask, "Was your head hurting when you were crying in your bed?" and she'll forget, and say, "No."

She tried out "My head hurts!" with her father yesterday. Later that night, I was getting her ready for bed, when she volunteered the statement, "At my naptime today, I cried a lot." We went on to have the following conversation:

"Why did you cry so much, Ellie?"
"Because I was missing my daddy."
"Did you tell him that when he came in?"
"No, I told him my head hurts."
"Why did you say that, Ellie?"
"Because."
"Were you crying because your head hurt?"
"No, I was crying because I was missing my daddy."
I decided to go for the $64,000 question: "So your head didn't hurt?"
She answered, "It hurt a little, but that's not why I cried."

Meeting Santa

This is the first year that Ellie has really understood the concept of Christmas and Santa Claus. We took her to the mall to meet Santa on Saturday, and for the first time ever, she actually spoke to him. He asked what she wanted, and she said, "A Dora book and a Froggy book." Santa said that books were always a good choice, then asked, "Anything else?" and she answered, "No." Since this might have been the shortest Christmas list he'd heard all day, Santa went on to ask her if she would leave out some cookies for him on Christmas Eve. Ellie replied, "Yes," so he asked what kind of cookies they'd be. Without missing a beat, she said, "Chocolate!" He told her that that was a good choice, too.

A few days later, Ellie's preschool held its Christmas party, and Santa paid a visit. Her teachers told us they were surprised that the slow-to-warm-up Ellie walked right up to Santa and told him what she wanted, then wished him a Merry Christmas. I later inquired what she asked Santa for this time, and she told me, "Cookies!" Sharp kid - asking one Santa for the cookies that the first Santa wanted!

Her sharp eyes have made Christmas preparations more complex, however. By total coincidence, I wrapped a bunch of her "Santa" gifts in one type of paper, and gifts for other in a different paper. When she arrived home from preschool, Ellie examined all the presents under the tree very carefully, and then announced "Santa has snowman paper! Mommy has gold paper with berries on it. But Mommy and Santa have the same bows. Some are red and some are green." I had never considered the notion that I'd have to use a different set of giftwrap, bows, and gift tags for the gifts from Santa. I promptly moved to hide the "Santa" wrapping paper and gift tags, and warned my husband and in-laws. And we're going with the story that Santa makes the gift bows for Target, where Mommy shops, so that he can get some reindeer food in exchange.

Pesky pea

Earlier this week, Jason was busy in the kitchen while Ellie was having her lunch. Soon, however, he was summoned with the following call: "Daddy, can you get the pea out of my nose?"

Jason went into the dining room, thinking that Ellie was just snotty and needed to blow her nose. He got a tissue and offered it to her, but she gave him a look as if he was crazy. So he held the tissue up to her nose and said, "Blow!"

Ellie blew, and out popped a pea!

I'm happy to report that there was only one pea, and it probably hadn't been there for long, since she was having peas with her lunch. When I got home that evening, I asked Ellie, "What's this I hear about a pea in your nose?" She told me very cheerfully that she'd put it there. I decided to ask her "why," not because three-year-olds have logical reasons for things, but because I was curious to hear what she'd say. Ellie answered promptly, "Because I liked it!" I inquired if she still liked it after it was in her nose, and she said, "Oh, no!"

So we had two lessons learned on this day. Ellie learned that it's not good to put things in your nose. And Daddy learned that if your three-year-old has a bowl of peas in front of her and says she has a pea in her nose, she really means it!