Shoppers Anonymous

Hi, my name is Jeanne, and I'm a shopaholic.

You'd never guess this from looking at me. My own clothes are plain, comfortable, and hopelessly unfashionable. My shoes are generally ordinary black flats or sandals. My purses and diaper bags are also plain black. The overall effect when you see me is one of general frumpiness. I think it's been six months since I last bought clothes for myself.

However, I now have a daughter. Girls are so much more fun to shop for than boys; don't let anyone tell you differently. Retailers understand this concept, and come out each season with an endless supply of cute outfits and accessories for girls. The internet is especially dangerous for me. I have very little spare time to hit the shopping mall, but the internet is open all the time. It's so easy to keep clicking on adorable tops and pants and shoes, and it's such a short step from clicking to buying.

The worst part is that I've got a built-in excuse for my ongoing compulsive shopping. See, the thing about kids is that they grow. For instance, Ellie outgrows a pair of shoes in about three months. Well, what's a mother to do? I can't let my child run around shoeless, can I? I've just got to buy her new shoes. And she can't have just one pair at any given time, because she might get them wet, plus she needs a backup pair to keep at preschool in case of accidents. Also, when the weather is hot, she needs at least one pair of sandals and one set of water shoes. Oh, and she always has to have a few hats around to keep her face protected from sun damage. And she needs a new swimsuit, and she keeps outgrowing her pants and shirts . . .

See how easy it is? That's why I'm looking for the nearest chapter of Shopaholics Anonymous.

Two-year checkup

Ellie had her two-year checkup today.

I hadn't been looking forward to it, mainly because of her performance at her 18-month checkup.  At that visit, she started looking suspicious when we walked into the exam room.  When I undressed her and tried to put her on the scale, she screamed the house down and clawed at my neck, trying to get off.  I think I had marks on my neck for days.  We ultimately calculated her weight by weighing Mommy with and without Ellie on the big scale out in the hall.  I told her afterward that she was in big trouble, since her pediatrician is my partner, and I wasn't especially keen for everyone at my workplace to know exactly how much I weigh.  Through the rest of her checkup, she clung to me as tightly as a barnacle and shrieked whenever someone tried to do something to her.  When her doctor walked into the room and saw that she was wrapped around my neck, he deadpanned, "I guess you're not having any attachment issues."

What a difference six months makes.  Today she walked into the office and showed everyone her hat.  She stood on the big scale out in the hall to be weighed, and she stood against the wall to be measured.  When her doctor asked her questions, she would either nod or answer "yeah" or "no".  She let him listen to her heart and lungs, and even said "ah" after some prompting and the use of a tongue depressor.  Ellie's never thrilled about having ear wax cleaned out of her ears, but she actually sat still for it and didn't cry.  The nurse then came in and gave her a shot and took a little blood to test for anemia, and Ellie didn't cry for that, either.  When she was finished, the nurse asked Ellie, "So, are we good?  Are we still friends?"  And Ellie answered, "Yeah."

I guess that prayer works.  Either that, or reading "Corduroy Goes to the Doctor" every night for three weeks before her checkup.

Talking points

One of the joys (and pitfalls) of living with a toddler is watching their speech and language unfold.  Ellie is a late talker, so my husband has often asked me, "Are you worried about her speech?  Is it okay that she isn't really talking yet?"  She has shown many signs that her language abilities are progressing, so my usual response is something like, "No.  One day we're going to wish that she would shut up, so let's just enjoy the peace and quiet for now."  Well, she's talking more and more each day now, much to our delight and occasional chagrin.

Ellie's articulation of sounds is still poor, so her talking is often hilarious.  For most two-syllable words, she turns the last part to "hmm".  So "pasta" is "pa-hmm", Daddy's coffee is "co-hmm", and "happy" is "hap-hmm".  Even "up" is "up-hmm" for some reason.  Her current favorite words are "car" (because she loves to go places in the car), "park" (ditto), "more" and "no".  "No", of course, is every two-year-old's favorite word.  Ellie can deliver it with all sorts of inflections and a variety of attitudes.  She can do the long-drawn-out sing-song "noOOOooo" when she's teasing Daddy, the staccato "no-no-no" with the accompanying finger-wag when she's lecturing the dog, and the straightforward and curt little "no" when she's mad. 

The best thing about her speech being unclear is that it saves us when she mimics our naughty words.  For instance, she arrived home from a car ride having added the "f-word" to her vocabulary.  Luckily, it sounds exactly like the way she says "foot", so that's all right.  In the same way, the "s-word" sounds just like the way she says "shoe".  We can just keep telling grandma that Ellie is obsessed with her feet and footwear!

Mother's Day

I just celebrated my second Mother's Day as a mom, and this thought occurred to me.  I'm at a stage in my life when Mother's Day is still more about my mother and my mother-in-law, not so much about me.  Don't get me wrong; I enjoyed this Mother's Day and was pampered and spoiled just as much as anyone could hope for.  We spent the day with my in-laws, and we all had a great time.  My daughter is almost two and enjoys playing with her cousin, who is just two months older.  It's a wonderful opportunity to see extended family members and spend time together as a group, and the food is always great because my father-in-law barbecues and everyone contributes something (especially desserts).

However, the fact is that I would not necessarily choose to spend Mother's Day in this fashion if it was truly meant to be MY day.  My own ideal Mother's Day would involve sleeping in, followed by a nice breakfast (which my husband provided for me), and taking in an afternoon baseball game with my husband and daughter.  Mind you, my daughter will have to be quite a bit older (10? 12? never?) before she'll actually enjoy going to a ballgame with her mom.  But maybe someday she'll come along for a Mother's Day baseball outing just to humor me. My husband would definitely be humoring me, since he considers baseball to be his archenemy.

Perhaps we'll end up solving this by splitting one holiday into two celebrations.  One day (say, the Saturday before Mother's Day) can be reserved for my own immediate family party, and the other day (maybe Mother's Day proper) can be spent enjoying time with the extended family.  It works for Christmas/Christmas Eve, why not Mother's Day? Besides, how sacred can a holiday be if it was invented by Hallmark just to sell more greeting cards?

Trip to the mall

My daughter and I went to the mall today. Ellie will be two years old next month, and it was the first time that I've tried a mall outing with her on foot rather than in a stroller or carrier. Luckily, she's a good walker and has some pretty good stamina. Unfortunately for her, she's also become a celebrity, since her photo is plastered all over my office. We ran into a couple of moms from the practice, who gave Ellie lots of attention and "oohs" for cuteness. She's a slow-to-warm-up kind of kid, so she just stood and stared. When one mom squatted to get herself down to Ellie's eye level, Ellie responded by squatting down also! I should count myself lucky that she didn't poop in the process.

Sadly, she shows every sign of being susceptible to good marketing techniques. While we were in line at Gymboree, an enterprising salesperson spotted her, and said "You would look so cute with a little ladybug purse!" Needless to say, I ended up purchasing the little ladybug purse. But afterwards, I had to agree; Ellie looked pretty darned cute walking around with her own little shopping bag and purse. She already looks like a veteran shopper. I'll just have to get her some toy cars and trucks to balance things out.